This is a cutting from my one act play "A Matter of Life and Death." Susan, a troubled young woman, has come to a tobacco store, figuring they knew about death, to talk about her plans to commit suicide. She is talking to the clerk, Harry, who later on is easily confused with God.
Later the play takes a shocking turn as Harry, "wondering what it would be like to be God," struggles with his own guilt in the ways the world has become so evil. The inspiration for "A Matter of Life and Death" came from Jack Miles' provocative book, "Christ: A Crisis in the Life of God." Susan has just confided to Harry what she has done that, in her mind, leads her to commit suicide:
HARRY
You're right. That's bad. In fact, that's really bad; but look, I'll forgive you for $100.
SUSAN
You will forgive me for $100? Are you making fun of me?
HARRY
Am I making fun of you? No, I'm not making fun of you. I said I would forgive you for $100 and I will. And if that is making fun of you, OK. I'll forgive you for $500.
SUSAN
You'll forgive me for $500?
HARRY
Do you want to hear me say it again?
SUSAN
O God, No. I just don't understand.
HARRY
It's simple: I've got what you need - and you've got . . .
SUSAN
$500.
HARRY
The amount is not so important.
SUSAN
But you just. . . .
HARRY
I said, "The amount is not important."
SUSAN Then what is important?
HARRY That you know it doesn't come easy - that it's worth something.
SUSAN (taking some money out of her purse) Here's the $500..but what difference does it make if you forgive me?
HARRY Well, who else is there?
SUSAN The people I hurt.
HARRY
Sorry. If they forgive you - that's for them. . . not you. If they forgive you, that allows them to go one with their lives. It really has nothing to do with you.
SUSAN
Can you say that again?
HARRY Honey, I'm not sure I said anything that smart the first time.
SUSAN
Are you saying that if they forgive me - that lets them go on with their lives? But it doesn't do anything for me?
HARRY Right.
SUSAN
But that doesn't seem fair.
HARRY That doesn't seem fair?
SUSAN
No. It's not fair.
HARRY
What's not fair about it?
SUSAN
Well, for one thing, they are forgiving ME . . .but I don't get anything out of it! I'm not part of it!
HARRY Exactly!
SUSAN
I don't get it.
HARRY
Exactly! You don't get it. They can't give it to you.
