A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH
CAST OF CHARACTERS:
HARRY: a male clerk of any age.
SUSAN: a troubled young woman, between 25 and 35 years old.
WARD: a middle-aged man, dressed and groomed well.
TIME: Daytime – the present.
PROPS: A cell phone for Harry. A life-sized cutout of a
clean-cut man.
TIME: Daytime – the present.
SCENE: A tobacco (or similar)shop with a counter and a bench
for customers who are waiting. HARRY is speaking on
his cell phone.
For permission to perform this play, contact Tom Woodward, 13 Calle Loma, Santa Fe, NM 87507. (505) 231-9829. The play works well as a stand alone play or as a sermon.
HARRY (talking on phone)
OK, OK. That one didn't work, so here’s another. There was this guy who was close to death and he was on this makeshift bed just off the kitchen - and the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies is in the air and his kids are surrounding him on every side. With what little energy the guy has left before he dies, he asks his daughter if she would please bring him a couple of those chocolate chip cookies. Just when she returns with the cookies and he reaches out to take one, his wife swoops down, jerks the cookies away and scolds him, saying, "Don't you dare eat those cookies – they’re for the wake!" . . . So that was just pretty good? . . OK, you want my best. . . So here we go. Sarah Palin and these two alligators walk into a bar. .
SUSAN walks into the store and begins to browse at the rear of the stage.
HARRY (Cont'd.)
Look, someone just came in. Let me get back to you. . . That's right, Sarah Palin and two alligators. Hold that thought. . .
HARRY (Cont’d, turning his attention to SUSAN)
Oh, Hi. Welcome to the store. . . Can I help you?
SUSAN (caught by surprise)
Will you say that again?
HARRY
Why? Do you have a hearing problem?
SUSAN
No, I just need to hear those words again.
HARRY
Sure. Can I help you?
SUSAN
I don't think so.
HARRY
I say "Can I help you?" not once, but twice -- and you tell me you don't think so?
SUSAN
I mean I don't know.
HARRY
You don’t think so? You don't know? What’s next?
SUSAN
I mean I'm not doing very well.
HARRY
You’re feeling sick?
SUSAN
Worse.
HARRY
That means you’re depressed?
SUSAN
Worse.
HARRY
That means you’re feeling hopeless?
SUSAN
Worse.
HARRY
That means. . .Suicide?
SUSAN (nodding her head "yes")
Suicide.
HARRY
There went my afternoon.
SUSAN
Your afternoon? What about me?
HARRY
I’m sorry. Why? Why suicide?
SUSAN
Why not?
HARRY
Why not? You've got your whole life ahead of you.
SUSAN
That's why.
HARRY
That's why? Because you have your whole life in front of you?
SUSAN
I can't take it any longer.
HARRY
It must be pretty bad.
SUSAN
It is more than pretty bad.
HARRY
And not just bad. .now.
SUSAN
That's right - not just bad now!
HARRY
Never ending?
SUSAN
That's it! Never ending - and it's time to put an end to never ending.
HARRY
But never ending is just beginning.
SUSAN
Cute.
HARRY
Seriously, are you telling me that you can't take it for another. . .what? Month? Week? Day?
SUSAN
Try half an hour.
HARRY
"Half an hour."
SUSAN
Cute. Very cute.
HARRY
What was that?
SUSAN
Cute. Very cute, Asshole!
HARRY
Bingo!
SUSAN
Bingo?
HARRY
Bingo! You just climbed out of yourself.
SUSAN
I don't know what you mean.
HARRY
Just for an instant, with that splendid little piece of sarcasm, you left your little corner of self-pity -- and joined the real world.
SUSAN
This is not self-pity -- it's really bad!
HARRY
What could be that bad?
SUSAN whispers in HARRY’S ear. HARRY listens thoughfully, then looks directly at SUSAN.
HARRY
You’re right. That’s bad. In fact, that’s really bad … but look, I’ll forgive you for $100.
SUSAN
You’ll forgive me for $100? Are you making fun of me?
HARRY
Am I making fun of you? No, I'm not making fun of you. I said I would forgive you for $100 and I will. And if that is making fun of you, OK. I’ll forgive you for $500.
SUSAN
You’ll forgive me for $500?
HARRY
Do you want to hear me say it again?
SUSAN
O God, No. I just don't understand.
HARRY
It's simple: I've got what you need - and you've got . . .
SUSAN
$500.
HARRY
The amount is not so important.
SUSAN
But you just. . . .
HARRY
I said, "The amount is not important."
SUSAN
Then what is important?
HARRY
That you know it doesn't come easy - that it's worth something.
Long pause while SUSAN pulls something out of her purse.
SUSAN
Here's the $500 . . . but what difference does it make if you forgive me!
HARRY
Well, who else is there?
SUSAN
The people I hurt.
HARRY
Sorry. If they forgive you - that's for them. . . not you. If they forgive you, that allows them to go on with their lives. It really has nothing to do with you.
SUSAN
Can you say that again?
HARRY
Honey, I'm not sure I said anything that smart the first time.
SUSAN
Are you saying that if they forgive me - that lets them go on with their lives? But it doesn't do anything for me?
HARRY
Right.
SUSAN
But that doesn't seem fair.
HARRY
That doesn't seem fair?
SUSAN
No. It's not fair.
HARRY
What's not fair about it?
SUSAN
Well, for one thing, they are forgiving ME . . .but I don't get anything out of it! I'm not part of it!
HARRY
Exactly!
SUSAN
I don't get it.
HARRY
Exactly! You don't get it. They can't give it to you.
SUSAN
So I'm stuck.
HARRY
You’re not stuck, you’re. . . .No, I take that back. You’re stuck. . . But maybe there is something that can loosen that up a bit.
SUSAN
I don’t see how.
HARRY
Look. Bear with me for a while . . just for a short while, because I don’t want you to think I’m crazy. So let me tell you about a friend of mine.
SUSAN
“A friend of yours?” Sure. Where have I heard that before?
HARRY
OK, Susan, let me tell you my story – which is not an easy thing for me. . .
SUSAN
What did you say?
HARRY
About it not being easy for me?
SUSAN
No. You called me by my name. How could you know my name?
HARRY
Don’t worry about it.
SUSAN
Don’t worry about it? What in the Hell is going on here?
HARRY
Look, we’ll get to that in good time, but there is some really hard stuff that comes first. And this is going to be awkward for me.
SUSAN
Awkward for you? Not so fast, Hot Shot. First you offer to forgive me for $100, then $500 . . . as though you were. . . and then you seem to know my name without my telling you. I repeat: What in the Hell is going on here?
HARRY
We’ll get to that. But first. . .how shall I start this? . . (seriously pondering how to proceed) I’ve often wondered what it would be like to be God.
SUSAN
Are you going to talk to me about religion? Cuz if you are, I’m out of here.
HARRY
No, I’m not going to talk to you about religion. This is the nitty-gritty that comes before religion – and, fair warning, it’s not very pretty.
SUSAN
I’m uneasy already. Look, you’ve got five minutes – and then I’m out of here.
HARRY
Do you see these lines on my face?
SUSAN
The tracks that tears make?
HARRY
Yes, the tear tracks. They weren’t always there. I started out with something so beautiful, so full of hope and promise – and a lot of that still survives.
SUSAN
Is this going to be a sad story?
HARRY
Given what you are considering, I think you can handle it.
SUSAN
Not if this is some kind of grandiose stall for time.
HARRY
I won’t be long. To tell it all would be more than you. . or I could handle. . . Do you know the name “Matthew Shepard?”
SUSAN
Wasn’t he that gay guy in Montana who was – how do they say it? – crucified on a barbed wire fence outside the town?
HARRY
And these numbers on my arm – do you know what they mean?
SUSAN
Is that the combination to your safe deposit box?
HARRY
A long way from that. This is the number the Nazi’s tattooed on the arm of Hannah Klein, wife of Isaac, mother of Aaron and Deborah. I watched her standing naked in the cold outside a
crematorium, cradling her babies in her arms, trying to comfort them as they were herded into the cement structure where they would be gassed to death.
SUSAN
The Holocaust.
HARRY
The Holocaust. Do you know how many Isaacs, how many Hannahs and Aarons and Deborahs wore these numbers?
SUSAN
Too many.
HARRY
Way more than too many – millions more than too many! And do you know why?
SUSAN
I must have heard, but I can’t imagine why.
HARRY
It was because they had my name.
SUSAN
You’re losing me. Are you telling me that your name is Hannah Klein?
HARRY
Hannah, Isaac, Aaron, Deborah Klein. Klein and also Cohen and Greenberg, Bloom and Katz and … (painfully) Yes, that is my name.
SUSAN
You said you wouldn’t talk about religion; but if you are talking about God, there is so much that is good in the world.
HARRY
Don’t get me wrong, Susan. I love the gratitude, the songs, the prayers and all that; but the pain: the terrible, unrelenting pain and the . .. darkness just seem to overwhelm it all.
SUSAN
But that was a long time ago.
HARRY
Sixty four years ago – that may be a long time for you, but I feel it like today. And all this is not just then, but now. In the Sudan, Dafur, Nigeria, Argentina, and even in Juarez, five hours south from where we are standing just this minute. And if that’s too far to drive, it’s happening on your own block.
SUSAN
My own block? What are you talking about?
HARRY
You know Phyllis Chesney, three doors down?
SUSAN
The nice woman who had the miscarriage.
HARRY
The miscarriage after her husband knocked her teeth out and stomped on her stomach because she wouldn’t have sex with him the way he wanted it before he went to work.
SUSAN
Oh, my God! I didn’t know.
HARRY
Don’t get me wrong, Susan. The world is a place of incredible beauty and such heroism and loving kindness; but, but, but how can even the most beautiful gesture make up for the horror
faced by Matthew Shepherd, Phyllis Chesney, by the Hannahs and their children? And on a slightly different level, by you?
SUSAN
But. . .but . . .
HARRY
Tell me, Susan. Tell me how many birthday parties with helium balloons and party favors does it take. . to make up for just one Hannah and her children?
SUSAN
I’m sorry. I don’t understand. . . I’m overwhelmed.
HARRY
And so am I. I am overwhelmed.
SUSAN
But those soft, kindly lines on your face?
HARRY
Do you know what thought preoccupies my mind? Do you know what single thought … preoccupies my mind? (whispers in SUSAN’S ear.) . .
SUSAN
No!
HARRY
Yes.
SUSAN
“Suicide?” You?
HARRY
I think about it every day.
SUSAN (after stunned silence)
But you – whoever you are – you can’t. . .
HARRY
It’s not that I can’t – I won’t.
SUSAN
You won’t? Why not?
HARRY
Because. . . because in a strange way, I suppose, knowing the extent of my guilt in allowing all that – and accepting that … that opens, that gives the depth and the urgency to my compassion for those who struggle so hard.
SUSAN
Are you telling me that you are God?
HARRY
Am I God? Do I look like some kind of Cosmic Teddy Bear overflowing with mushy, sentimental Hallmark love . .who is unwilling to hold anyone, any country – even your own – accountable for anything?
SUSAN
Then you’re not God.
HARRY
Did I say that?
SUSAN
I am really confused.
HARRY
Confused is the best place to start.
SUSAN
So who are you?
HARRY
For right here? Right now? Susan, it doesn’t matter who I am. I’ll take care of that. What matters right here, right now is what you do with your own pain and guilt -- and your incredible personal beauty.
SUSAN
I don’t know about the beauty, but I think I can understand something about the pain and the guilt – that they don’t need to be the end.
HARRY
Not the end, but the beginning.
SUSAN
Of what?
HARRY
As they say, Susan, God only knows. But I can tell you one thing: those who are in deepest deficit need you. They need you -- in all you can bring -- more than anything, anyone else.
SUSAN
But, but . . .I don’t understand. And you just keep confusing me more and more.
HARRY (with emotion building)
Susan. Susan, listen to me. Let your pain – even your self- inflicted suffering – be the deepening. . .not the block. . to your heart.
SUSAN
But I’m so. . .
HARRY
Look, who would you want beside you in your deepest distress: Gregory Goody-Goody or Disappointing Old Fart, which is me?
SUSAN
That’s easy.
HARRY
And of your friends in dire need – who do they need, a Cindy Crawford model of perfection or a tarnished young woman named Susan? … They need you.
SUSAN
Because I’ve stood on the edge?
HARRY
Because of your own wounds.
SUSAN
But. . but. . I think I understand, but then you just keep confusing me more and more.
HARRY
Look, Susan, I need to go next door for a few minutes. Can you handle things here for a few minutes?
SUSAN
But I don’t know how things work here.
HARRY
You’ll do fine. Trust me.
SUSAN
Sure, just like an hour ago.
HARRY exits. WARD enters.
SUSAN (Cont’d.)
Can I help you?
WARD
Will you say that again?
SUSAN
Why? Do you have a hearing problem?
WARD
No, I just need to hear those words again.
SUSAN
Sure. Can I help you?
WARD
I don't think so.
SUSAN
I say "Can I help you?" not once, but twice and you tell me you don't think so?
WARD
I mean I don't know.
SUSAN
I know, Ward, I know.
WARD
What did you say?
SUSAN
Don’t worry about it. We’ve got more important things to talk about. . .
SUSAN and WARD find a place to sit. She takes his hand in hers and they begin talking to one another. HARRY reappears quietly and watches as the lights fade.
- THE END -
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