A 15 Minute Play About Forgiveness

A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

HARRY: a male clerk of any age.

SUSAN: a troubled young woman, between 25 and 35 years old.

WARD: a middle-aged man, dressed and groomed well.

TIME: Daytime – the present.

PROPS: A cell phone for Harry. A life-sized cutout of a

clean-cut man.

TIME: Daytime – the present.

SCENE: A tobacco (or similar)shop with a counter and a bench

for customers who are waiting. HARRY is speaking on

his cell phone.

For permission to perform this play, contact Tom Woodward, 13 Calle Loma, Santa Fe, NM 87507. (505) 231-9829. The play works well as a stand alone play or as a sermon.

HARRY (talking on phone)

OK, OK. That one didn't work, so here’s another. There was this guy who was close to death and he was on this makeshift bed just off the kitchen - and the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies is in the air and his kids are surrounding him on every side. With what little energy the guy has left before he dies, he asks his daughter if she would please bring him a couple of those chocolate chip cookies. Just when she returns with the cookies and he reaches out to take one, his wife swoops down, jerks the cookies away and scolds him, saying, "Don't you dare eat those cookies – they’re for the wake!" . . . So that was just pretty good? . . OK, you want my best. . . So here we go. Sarah Palin and these two alligators walk into a bar. .

SUSAN walks into the store and begins to browse at the rear of the stage.

HARRY (Cont'd.)

Look, someone just came in. Let me get back to you. . . That's right, Sarah Palin and two alligators. Hold that thought. . .

HARRY (Cont’d, turning his attention to SUSAN)

Oh, Hi. Welcome to the store. . . Can I help you?

SUSAN (caught by surprise)

Will you say that again?

HARRY

Why? Do you have a hearing problem?

SUSAN

No, I just need to hear those words again.

HARRY

Sure. Can I help you?

SUSAN

I don't think so.

HARRY

I say "Can I help you?" not once, but twice -- and you tell me you don't think so?

SUSAN

I mean I don't know.

HARRY

You don’t think so? You don't know? What’s next?

SUSAN

I mean I'm not doing very well.

HARRY

You’re feeling sick?

SUSAN

Worse.

HARRY

That means you’re depressed?

SUSAN

Worse.

HARRY

That means you’re feeling hopeless?

SUSAN

Worse.

HARRY

That means. . .Suicide?

SUSAN (nodding her head "yes")

Suicide.

HARRY

There went my afternoon.

SUSAN

Your afternoon? What about me?

HARRY

I’m sorry. Why? Why suicide?

SUSAN

Why not?

HARRY

Why not? You've got your whole life ahead of you.

SUSAN

That's why.

HARRY

That's why? Because you have your whole life in front of you?

SUSAN

I can't take it any longer.

HARRY

It must be pretty bad.

SUSAN

It is more than pretty bad.

HARRY

And not just bad. .now.

SUSAN

That's right - not just bad now!

HARRY

Never ending?

SUSAN

That's it! Never ending - and it's time to put an end to never ending.

HARRY

But never ending is just beginning.

SUSAN

Cute.

HARRY

Seriously, are you telling me that you can't take it for another. . .what? Month? Week? Day?

SUSAN

Try half an hour.

HARRY

"Half an hour."

SUSAN

Cute. Very cute.

HARRY

What was that?

SUSAN

Cute. Very cute, Asshole!

HARRY

Bingo!

SUSAN

Bingo?

HARRY

Bingo! You just climbed out of yourself.

SUSAN

I don't know what you mean.

HARRY

Just for an instant, with that splendid little piece of sarcasm, you left your little corner of self-pity -- and joined the real world.

SUSAN

This is not self-pity -- it's really bad!

HARRY

What could be that bad?

SUSAN whispers in HARRY’S ear. HARRY listens thoughfully, then looks directly at SUSAN.

HARRY

You’re right. That’s bad. In fact, that’s really bad … but look, I’ll forgive you for $100.

SUSAN

You’ll forgive me for $100? Are you making fun of me?

HARRY

Am I making fun of you? No, I'm not making fun of you. I said I would forgive you for $100 and I will. And if that is making fun of you, OK. I’ll forgive you for $500.

SUSAN

You’ll forgive me for $500?

HARRY

Do you want to hear me say it again?

SUSAN

O God, No. I just don't understand.

HARRY

It's simple: I've got what you need - and you've got . . .

SUSAN

$500.

HARRY

The amount is not so important.

SUSAN

But you just. . . .

HARRY

I said, "The amount is not important."

SUSAN

Then what is important?

HARRY

That you know it doesn't come easy - that it's worth something.

Long pause while SUSAN pulls something out of her purse.

SUSAN

Here's the $500 . . . but what difference does it make if you forgive me!

HARRY

Well, who else is there?

SUSAN

The people I hurt.

HARRY

Sorry. If they forgive you - that's for them. . . not you. If they forgive you, that allows them to go on with their lives. It really has nothing to do with you.

SUSAN

Can you say that again?

HARRY

Honey, I'm not sure I said anything that smart the first time.

SUSAN

Are you saying that if they forgive me - that lets them go on with their lives? But it doesn't do anything for me?

HARRY

Right.

SUSAN

But that doesn't seem fair.

HARRY

That doesn't seem fair?

SUSAN

No. It's not fair.

HARRY

What's not fair about it?

SUSAN

Well, for one thing, they are forgiving ME . . .but I don't get anything out of it! I'm not part of it!

HARRY

Exactly!

SUSAN

I don't get it.

HARRY

Exactly! You don't get it. They can't give it to you.

SUSAN

So I'm stuck.

HARRY

You’re not stuck, you’re. . . .No, I take that back. You’re stuck. . . But maybe there is something that can loosen that up a bit.

SUSAN

I don’t see how.

HARRY

Look. Bear with me for a while . . just for a short while, because I don’t want you to think I’m crazy. So let me tell you about a friend of mine.

SUSAN

“A friend of yours?” Sure. Where have I heard that before?

HARRY

OK, Susan, let me tell you my story – which is not an easy thing for me. . .

SUSAN

What did you say?

HARRY

About it not being easy for me?

SUSAN

No. You called me by my name. How could you know my name?

HARRY

Don’t worry about it.

SUSAN

Don’t worry about it? What in the Hell is going on here?

HARRY

Look, we’ll get to that in good time, but there is some really hard stuff that comes first. And this is going to be awkward for me.

SUSAN

Awkward for you? Not so fast, Hot Shot. First you offer to forgive me for $100, then $500 . . . as though you were. . . and then you seem to know my name without my telling you. I repeat: What in the Hell is going on here?

HARRY

We’ll get to that. But first. . .how shall I start this? . . (seriously pondering how to proceed) I’ve often wondered what it would be like to be God.

SUSAN

Are you going to talk to me about religion? Cuz if you are, I’m out of here.

HARRY

No, I’m not going to talk to you about religion. This is the nitty-gritty that comes before religion – and, fair warning, it’s not very pretty.

SUSAN

I’m uneasy already. Look, you’ve got five minutes – and then I’m out of here.

HARRY

Do you see these lines on my face?

SUSAN

The tracks that tears make?

HARRY

Yes, the tear tracks. They weren’t always there. I started out with something so beautiful, so full of hope and promise – and a lot of that still survives.

SUSAN

Is this going to be a sad story?

HARRY

Given what you are considering, I think you can handle it.

SUSAN

Not if this is some kind of grandiose stall for time.

HARRY

I won’t be long. To tell it all would be more than you. . or I could handle. . . Do you know the name “Matthew Shepard?”

SUSAN

Wasn’t he that gay guy in Montana who was – how do they say it? – crucified on a barbed wire fence outside the town?

HARRY

And these numbers on my arm – do you know what they mean?

SUSAN

Is that the combination to your safe deposit box?

HARRY

A long way from that. This is the number the Nazi’s tattooed on the arm of Hannah Klein, wife of Isaac, mother of Aaron and Deborah. I watched her standing naked in the cold outside a

crematorium, cradling her babies in her arms, trying to comfort them as they were herded into the cement structure where they would be gassed to death.

SUSAN

The Holocaust.

HARRY

The Holocaust. Do you know how many Isaacs, how many Hannahs and Aarons and Deborahs wore these numbers?

SUSAN

Too many.

HARRY

Way more than too many – millions more than too many! And do you know why?

SUSAN

I must have heard, but I can’t imagine why.

HARRY

It was because they had my name.

SUSAN

You’re losing me. Are you telling me that your name is Hannah Klein?

HARRY

Hannah, Isaac, Aaron, Deborah Klein. Klein and also Cohen and Greenberg, Bloom and Katz and … (painfully) Yes, that is my name.

SUSAN

You said you wouldn’t talk about religion; but if you are talking about God, there is so much that is good in the world.

HARRY

Don’t get me wrong, Susan. I love the gratitude, the songs, the prayers and all that; but the pain: the terrible, unrelenting pain and the . .. darkness just seem to overwhelm it all.

SUSAN

But that was a long time ago.

HARRY

Sixty four years ago – that may be a long time for you, but I feel it like today. And all this is not just then, but now. In the Sudan, Dafur, Nigeria, Argentina, and even in Juarez, five hours south from where we are standing just this minute. And if that’s too far to drive, it’s happening on your own block.

SUSAN

My own block? What are you talking about?

HARRY

You know Phyllis Chesney, three doors down?

SUSAN

The nice woman who had the miscarriage.

HARRY

The miscarriage after her husband knocked her teeth out and stomped on her stomach because she wouldn’t have sex with him the way he wanted it before he went to work.

SUSAN

Oh, my God! I didn’t know.

HARRY

Don’t get me wrong, Susan. The world is a place of incredible beauty and such heroism and loving kindness; but, but, but how can even the most beautiful gesture make up for the horror

faced by Matthew Shepherd, Phyllis Chesney, by the Hannahs and their children? And on a slightly different level, by you?

SUSAN

But. . .but . . .

HARRY

Tell me, Susan. Tell me how many birthday parties with helium balloons and party favors does it take. . to make up for just one Hannah and her children?

SUSAN

I’m sorry. I don’t understand. . . I’m overwhelmed.

HARRY

And so am I. I am overwhelmed.

SUSAN

But those soft, kindly lines on your face?

HARRY

Do you know what thought preoccupies my mind? Do you know what single thought … preoccupies my mind? (whispers in SUSAN’S ear.) . .

SUSAN

No!

HARRY

Yes.

SUSAN

“Suicide?” You?

HARRY

I think about it every day.

SUSAN (after stunned silence)

But you – whoever you are – you can’t. . .

HARRY

It’s not that I can’t – I won’t.

SUSAN

You won’t? Why not?

HARRY

Because. . . because in a strange way, I suppose, knowing the extent of my guilt in allowing all that – and accepting that … that opens, that gives the depth and the urgency to my compassion for those who struggle so hard.

SUSAN

Are you telling me that you are God?

HARRY

Am I God? Do I look like some kind of Cosmic Teddy Bear overflowing with mushy, sentimental Hallmark love . .who is unwilling to hold anyone, any country – even your own – accountable for anything?

SUSAN

Then you’re not God.

HARRY

Did I say that?

SUSAN

I am really confused.

HARRY

Confused is the best place to start.

SUSAN

So who are you?

HARRY

For right here? Right now? Susan, it doesn’t matter who I am. I’ll take care of that. What matters right here, right now is what you do with your own pain and guilt -- and your incredible personal beauty.

SUSAN

I don’t know about the beauty, but I think I can understand something about the pain and the guilt – that they don’t need to be the end.

HARRY

Not the end, but the beginning.

SUSAN

Of what?

HARRY

As they say, Susan, God only knows. But I can tell you one thing: those who are in deepest deficit need you. They need you -- in all you can bring -- more than anything, anyone else.

SUSAN

But, but . . .I don’t understand. And you just keep confusing me more and more.

HARRY (with emotion building)

Susan. Susan, listen to me. Let your pain – even your self- inflicted suffering – be the deepening. . .not the block. . to your heart.

SUSAN

But I’m so. . .

HARRY

Look, who would you want beside you in your deepest distress: Gregory Goody-Goody or Disappointing Old Fart, which is me?

SUSAN

That’s easy.

HARRY

And of your friends in dire need – who do they need, a Cindy Crawford model of perfection or a tarnished young woman named Susan? … They need you.

SUSAN

Because I’ve stood on the edge?

HARRY

Because of your own wounds.

SUSAN

But. . but. . I think I understand, but then you just keep confusing me more and more.

HARRY

Look, Susan, I need to go next door for a few minutes. Can you handle things here for a few minutes?

SUSAN

But I don’t know how things work here.

HARRY

You’ll do fine. Trust me.

SUSAN

Sure, just like an hour ago.

HARRY exits. WARD enters.

SUSAN (Cont’d.)

Can I help you?

WARD

Will you say that again?

SUSAN

Why? Do you have a hearing problem?

WARD

No, I just need to hear those words again.

SUSAN

Sure. Can I help you?

WARD

I don't think so.

SUSAN

I say "Can I help you?" not once, but twice and you tell me you don't think so?

WARD

I mean I don't know.

SUSAN

I know, Ward, I know.

WARD

What did you say?

SUSAN

Don’t worry about it. We’ve got more important things to talk about. . .

SUSAN and WARD find a place to sit. She takes his hand in hers and they begin talking to one another. HARRY reappears quietly and watches as the lights fade.

- THE END -

Synopsis of the Gonzo Opera “And the Winner Is. . .”

Composed by Daniel Steven Crafts

Libretto by Thomas B. Woodward

The opera opens as Tony, the host of the Ms. American Beauty Pageant, wrestles with the self-doubts brought about possible imminent success in his aria "It's Every Man's Dream."

As the aria ends, the next to last contestant in the pageant, Ms. Tennessee, comes on stage with her puppet to perform her Talent part of the pageant. As she begins the duet, "Dove il mio orecchio," her puppet, given voice by an off-stage tenor, joins her in the romantic (and highly comic) duet.

During the following commercial break, the pageant's final contestant, Bobbie Wentworth, joins Tony in the wings as both wait to go onstage. There is an instant chemistry between the two and they quickly begin flirting with one another. The flirting escalates until the two are on camera and Tony asks Bobbie when she first became interested in the Ms. American Pageant and receives an answer he doesn't expect.

As Tony attempts to establish order, Bobbie continues to break taboos – as when she notes that her real talent for the pageant is not her baton twirling act, but hiding her disability. In her aria, "Sing an Inspiring New Song," she wonders "Wouldn't it be wonderful if Ms. American of 2011 and Ms. Disability of 2011 were the same person?"

The shocks and surprises continue as the Pageant moves from chaos to inspiration and then romance. Having won each other's affections, Bobbie blows kisses to the television audience as Tony helps her offstage.

The opera is composed by Emmy-winning composer, Daniel Steven Crafts. The libretto is based on an original play by Tom Woodward and written by him. If you are interested in further information about the opera or in producing it, please respond to Thomas B. Woodward, 13 Calle Loma, Santa Fe, NM 87507.

The Major Prophets in One Hour - notes

What is a Prophet?

Rabbi Abraham Heschel used to tell the following story to describe the calling of the people of God and of individuals to be prophets: Once upon a time there was an agricultural kingdom which prospered year after year. Everyone had plenty to eat and everyone was happy. But then, one year it was discovered that whoever ate that year's grain became crazy - really crazy.

Aware of the terrible crisis, the King and Queen gathered the wise men and women of the realm and met with them around the clock for several days. Then they called the kingdom together for a very important message. When the kingdom was gathered, the royal family began "It is clear that we are in a terrible, terrible crisis; but we have our response. From the kingdom, we are setting aside twelve men and women. They will eat last year's grain while the rest of us will be eating this year's grain. The twelve will serve a very important function. Their mission will be to remind the rest of us that we are, indeed, crazy."

There is no higher calling. But now, on to the three "major prophets," Isaiah, Jeremiah and Ezekiel.

THE MAJOR PROPHETS

THE CALLING OF THE PROPHETS: each called with a powerful vision and a commissioning.

ISAIAH (calling 742) His calling is described in Isaiah 6:1-5, 6-10. Some of the elements of that call are an overwhelming experience of Holiness (his words are reflected in the Sanctus) and a piece of burning coal applied to his lips (cleansing). Later, like Jeremiah, Isaiah believes he was called from mother's womb 49:1-3

JEREMIAH (calling 626) Calling: 1:4-8, 9 (reflected in Psalm 139) like Isaiah verse. 5 "touch my mouth." He complains that he is too young and unexperienced and, given God's charge, Jeremiah was totally unsuited temperamentally (the experience of the fool is described at: 1:10

Elements of his call:: like Ezekiel, Jeremiah "eats God's words," Is this reflected in the Collect: that we might read, mark, learn and inwardly digest Holy Scripture?

EZEKIEL (calling 593) His calling: 2:1-2; 3:1-3: elements of his call include a strong and bizarre experience of Holiness, as with Isaiah a piece of coal is applied to his lips, and he describes the power of the Spirit. Like Jeremiah, Ezekiel eats God's words.

CHARACTERISTICS OF THE THREE PROPHETS

ISAIAH: He was an artistocrat and very aware of foreign realities -- much like a Teddy Kennedy or our own Bill Stewart. His language is majestical -- some of the most eloquent in all of Scripture. He also has an almost unique vision of the whole of humanity under the love and mercy of God -- his phrase is that Israel is to be a light to the nations, bringing them into the wholeness intended for the People of God.

JEREMIAH: he began his ministry at an early age – not with the same sense of awe (as Isaiah and Ezekiel). On the other hand, he struggles and wrestles with God -- much like an Ann Sexton or John of the Cross.

Much of the book of Jeremiah is "biography," written down by his secretary Baruch. Some of the best of the book are his confessions, prayers, and inner reflections. He has an intensely personal relationship with God – exhibiting deep faith in God as well as intense anger at God for what he experiences as betrayal. Another way of considering this is the tension between his own personal inclinations (wanting to party with his friends) and his deep sense of vocation.

His stress on personal experience of faith helped define a new foundation for faith after the Exile.

EZEKIEL: his message is defined by vision of absolute holiness, otherness of God – the last part of Ezekiel is very similar to the Holiness Code (Leviticus 18ff.).

Ezekiel was a pastor and fiercely protective of his flock – also bound to speak against them. His tirade against the Watchmen (pastors) who do not attend to the deeper needs of their people is searing.

THE BOOK OF ISAIAH: its setting is when Uzziah was King 783-742 – Judah was at its most powerful; but Uzziah becomes proud and attempts to usurp power of priesthood. Confronted, he becomes leper and the power and influence of the nation goes into decline. There are two quite different people and time periods in the two major sections of the book, identified as I Isaiah 1-39; II Isaiah 40-

I ISAIAH The setting for Isaiah's prophesies is the nation's interest in political intrigue/alliances. Isaiah sees all of this as a betrayal of God's rule and protection. For him, the world is in God's hands – it is folly to enter into alliances. Thus, he rails against

-- reliance on world power – rely not on weapons, but on God.

-- subservience to nation like Assyria – which will mean accepting their gods and cults.

-- alliance with Assyria meant involvement in her military operations.

King Ahaz - in treaty w/ Assyria for protection:he was willing to compromise religious principles to curry favor.

King Hezekiah wants alliance with Egypt – Isaiah, to illustrate futility of such dependence, walks naked through the streets of Jerusalem. .

For Isaiah, problem is not foreign policy, but the inner state of the nation.

Two Stages in I Isaiah: disaster is coming and a remnant will return Isaiah 33:15. Then from the remnant, there will be redemption for all nations. God's covenant will be not only with people, but with Zion and with the land.

Of special interest: Apocalyptic vision of Messiahnic Banquet Isaiah 25.6f. which is not just for Israel.

II ISAIAH 40-66 Doom is no longer relevant and there is the promise of Return.

High Points of II Isaiah:

His description of the character of God 40:1-5, 40:11; v12f. and creation ex nihilo (42:).

Description of the calling of the military man, Cyrus as instrument of God in freeing the Jews from captivity. Cyrus, a foreigner, was first to be referred to as "Christ" 45:1ff.

Vision – which is reflected in what we sing in Handel's Messiah.

His descriptions of the the Suffering Servant (read during Palm Sunday and Holy Week) – is this Isaiah? the Jewish people/nation? One to come? This suffering is not a penalty – but a privilege, sacrifice.

Light to the Nations (here it is God, not Isaiah, talking to Israel)

God said to Jeremiah: "I appointed you as a prophet to the nations," to Isaiah: "I appointed you as a light to the nations." 49:6. This vision of our being Light to the nations 42:6-7, 42:1-4

JEREMIAH b. 650 in Anathoth, 4 mi. north of Jerusalem, called to be prophet 626.

Jeremiah's mentors were Isaiah, Hosea, Amos and Micah (quotes Habbakuk's words of struggling with the notion that the evil seem to go unpunished)

Lived through Josiah's Reform 621, but found it dealing with externals only - and thus inadequate.

Heschel – p. 105 for description (3/2)

Much of Jeremiah is introspective:

loneliness 15:15-18

psychological 20:4-11. Abraham Heschel notes that Jeremiah's words about betrayal are better translated as a virgin being seduced/a married woman being raped.

Internalizes religious faith – out of faith comes practice. This is a big step from religion as obedience to rules.

Jeremiah's sense of God's initiative. Like Ezekiel, at the end Jeremiah has a well defined belief in Grace.

Jeremiah's high moral sense: 22:13-19 29:7f.

Baruch – when Jeremiah could not appear in public because of threats on his life, he enlisted Baruch 36:4-8 to take down his speeches and deliver them. Baruch also chronicles the inner life of Jeremiah, as well.

1In first part of Jeremiah, he preaches wrath: all are l under condemnation. 2:8: later, those who repent will be saved. 7:5-7

Speaks of the Fatherhood of God 3:19

Restoration: 29:10f It is God who has sent Jews into exile – and God who called Persian military leader to free them.

High Points in Jeremiah

1. My favorite image: Cisterns 2:13f.

2. Morality: 22:13-19 very similar to the prophet Amos. Later, he counsels those in exile not to rebel against Babylonians, but to find their lives where they are. 29:7f.

3. What do you do as you are trying to exit your country before it is overrun? Jeremiah buys property! 32.6ff

4. Jeremiah's Book of Hope, chapters 30-33 (motto of OT 30:3) This forms much of the basis the teaching of Paul & Jesus.

The Big Oops: a delightfully humorous piece: 34:8-11. everyone suddenly becomes religious – so what happens?

Notion of Grace: 31:1-6 v. 3

Jeremiah elucidates the theme of OT "in spite of everything, I have remained faithful."

The most important part of the Book of Jeremiah: The New Covenant 31:31-33, v. 4

EZEKIEL: The structure of the book: Judgment: 1-24; Hope 25-32; Restitution of Israel 33-48 (Chapter 40f. similar to Leviticus 19ff. Holiness Code.

Themes:

1. As pastor of exiles – felt responsibility for each individual

2. Certainty of ruin of Jerusalem & Judah as a result of their idolatry and moral iniquity.

3. Judgment is not disciplinary or redemptive – it is simple punishment.

4. Promise of Restoration and Renewal. Powerful notion of the New Covenant - 11:17-20 based on Grace - an interpolation of Jeremiah.

5. Individual Responsibility - huge step forward in Hebrew religion: 18:1-9; 20f. (especially verse 23)

6. High Doctrine of Holiness (we are to be holy because Yahweh is holy)

7. Restoration of Israel: God takes initiative, doesn't wait for our repentance.

Vision of the Dry Bones 37:1-14. Note that the dead are soldiers.

Yahweh, the Good Shepherd 34:11ff. God is gathering flock from everywhere.

Gift of New Heart/New Spirit 36:25-27, 31. Truly Majestic!

8. Restoration Complete only if God lives in midst of people 40-48

Plans and dimensions for new Temple

Priests in charge of Temple (no foreign helpers as before)

Emphasis on the Cult (very much in the Priestly tradition).

What Is Gonzo Opera?

GONZO OPERA

A Manifesto

by Daniel Steven Crafts

What is Gonzo Opera?

1) First of all, despite its subject matter, it is real opera, and not a parody of the genre as are many works in the last few years that call themselves "opera." It uses beautiful classically-trained voices and allows them to demonstrate all the marvelous attributes of traditional vocal technique. The Gonzo style is full of melody (something sorely lacking in most contemporary opera)—memorable melody that shows off the voices in the best possible light.

But…

2) Gonzo Opera takes as its subject matter outrageous comedy/satire, subjects heretofore completely foreign to opera. It is as contemporary as the movies. No pathetic, dying heroines here. Shannon Wheeler's Too Much Coffee Man was made into an opera with great success. It was not so much the traditional opera audience who came to see it, but Shannon's audience (the 20-40 year olds). This was the first of the Gonzo operas.

3) Gonzo Opera is designed to be portable and inexpensive to produce. This should prove a boon to smaller opera companies as

a) It attracts a new, young audience (which all companies are crying out to do) and,
b) It can be produced with simple sets, and a small combo of instrumentalists (as opposed to a full orchestra).

Opera as an art form, desperately needs a swift kick in the pants—the same kind that was given it by the verismo movement in the late 1800s. When the overwhelming percentage of works in standard repertoire are 100-300 years old, something is severely wrong. One need only compare the quantity of good and memorable new operas from the second half of the 20th century with the second half of the 19th. The 21st has so far fared little better.

My Opera

"And the Winner Is. . ."

Composed by Daniel Steven Crafts, Libretto by Thomas B. Woodward

The opera opens as Tony, the host of the Ms. American Beauty Pageant, wrestles with the self-doubts brought about possible imminent success in his aria "It's Every Man's Dream."

As the aria ends, the next to last contestant in the pageant, Ms. Tennessee, comes on stage with her puppet to perform her Talent part of the pageant. As she begins the duet, "Dove il mio orecchio," her puppet, given voice by an off-stage tenor, joins her in the romantic (and highly comic) duet.

During the following commercial break, the pageant's final contestant, Bobbie Wentworth joins Tony in the wings as both wait to go onstage. There is an instant chemistry between the two and they quickly begin flirting with one another. The flirting escalates until the two are on camera and Tony asks Bobbie when she first became interested in the Ms. American Pageant and receives an answer he doesn't expect.

As Tony attempts to establish order, Bobbie continues to break taboos – as when she notes that her real talent for the pageant is not her baton twirling act, but hiding her disability. In her aria, "Sing an Inspiring New Song," she wonders "Wouldn't it be wonderful if Ms. American of 2011 and Ms. Disability of 2011 were the same person?"

The shocks and surprises continue as the Pageant moves from chaos to inspiration and then romance. Having won each other's affections, Bobbie blows kisses to the television audience as Tony helps her offstage.

For production information, contact Tom Woodward, 13 Calle Loma, Santa Fe, NM 87507. For information about Mr. Crafts, see his web site: www.dscrafts.net.

Words Do Have Consequences

Words do have consequences -- and we do have limits to the way those words are used. The old saw is that I do not have the right to yell "Fire" in a crowded theater when there is no fire. I wish there were a way to hold those responsible for the escalation of demonizing and dehumanizing rhetoric from both the right and the left. While the "Once we get rid of the liberals we will be OK" language of the Sean Hannitys and the "Worst Person in the World" of the Keith Olbermanns may not lead directly to violence and killing, they sure do support a climate and culture which fosters them.

As an example: One of the first thing a country at war does to motivate its armed forces is to dehumanize and demonize the enemy. We weren't killing Germans and Japanese, it was Krauts and Japs (Slopeheads). We have similar names for our foes in Viet Nam, Iraq and Afghanistan. Reading Laura Hillenbrand's searing biography "Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption," it is clear how closely tied the Japanese demonization of American troops in WWII led to the worst kinds of torture (random as well as planned) of combatants and non-combatants from our country. What is even more frightening is to realize that our own recent "interrogation techniques" mirror in nearly every aspect the atrocities of the Japanese in WWII! And we are pretty much silent.

I don't expect Olbermann, Matthews, Palin, Beck and Limbaugh to take responsibility for their incendiary language and attacks. That ugliness is their bread and butter: when we stop tuning in to hear about those who are stealing our country or defacing the Constitution, they won't have jobs. I don't expect much from the Christian churches or even the Anti-Defamation League. We all will probably defer to Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, two comedians who take their religion very, very seriously.

The Old Testament in One Hour

REFLECTIONS ON OLD TESTAMENT THEMES AND STORIES

St. Bede's Adult Forum

Some literary treatments of Old Testament Themes and Stories

Genesis: Robert Crumb – Genesis in comic strip narrative (at Public Library)
Soren Kierkegaard, Abraham and Isaac in Fear and Trembling
John Steinbeck, East of Eden – Cain and Abel
Job The Living End, by Stanley Elkin,

J.B. by Archibald MacLeish

Ecclesiastes The Byrds – Turn, Turn, Turn

Isaiah G.F. Handel - The Messiah
etc.

GENESIS
The notion of myth – it is not when did it happen, but where is it happening?
Myth addresses -How did we get this way? That is, in good part, at the heart of the stories of Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah, Abraham & Isaac, Joseph and his Coat
Two Creation Stories: Genesis 1:1 – 2:4a; 2:4b-2:25, each written at different times with different purposes by different "schools:"

J earliest, existentialist, interested in themes of obedience, alienation, life & death issues
P justifies priestly, ritualistic religion – cult, seasons and festivals, Sabbath.
D understands history through experience – faithfulness and apostasy.
E uses "elohim" (gods) for the Divine.

Themes
Cain and Abel: on-going struggle between siblings, between urban/agrarian
Retribution: Lamech
Then Lamech said to his wives:
"Adah and Zillah, hear my voice;
Wives of Lamech, listen to my speech!
For I have killed a man for wounding me,
Even a young man for hurting me.
If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold,
Then Lamech seventy-sevenfold." 4:19-24 –
That sense of retribution is transformed in Exodus 21:24 (an eye for an eye)

Noah – the first of the Covenants (Noah, Abraham, Moses, Davidic)
Abraham – adventures and misadventures – his descendents (literally) in his seed
Birth of Isaac – Isaac means "laughter" after the laughter of his parents in their 90s when Isaac was conceived.
Abraham & Isaac 22: Several authors and philosophers have wrestled with this.
Stories about Jacob – cheating his brother, wrestling with an angel, being renamed "Israel."
"We worship the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob" or "the God of the Liar, the Larcenist and Laughter")
Jacob and his brothers – the twelve tribes of Israel.

EXODUS
Israelites are in bondage in Egypt 2:23-25
The calling of Moses (temper and voice 7:1-2 – Aaron was his mouthpiece)
The Plagues followed by the Passover (preparations 12, exodus 13ff. – 15:1!
Time in Wilderness, first set of the 10 Commandments 20ff
The Tabernacle and Ark of the Covenant 25:8f. these represent God's will to live in the midst of his people – the extension of which is the Incarnation.

LEVITICUS – High Morality & The Problem of Guilt
Holiness Code: 19:1ff High Points of Biblical morality – which is based on the holiness of God.
19:9 Gleaning – Salinas Valley, where the practice of gleaning is still practiced
19:17 first appearance of loving your neighbor- see v.33
19:33 the sojourner – big deal in that culture, milieu
The Jubilee Year – no one crushed forever 24:ff

NUMBERS
DEUTERONOMY
Years in the Wilderness
Second set of 10 commandments – recalling covenant (religious service) Deut. 5ff
Shema 6:4-5f.
The Notion of Election 7:6f (reflected in New Testament in I Peter.
The Kind of God we worship and serve 7:9f
Office of a Prophet 18:15
The Blessings of Obedience 28:1ff. – the heart of Deuteronomic history (you obey, you prosper; you disobey, it's curtains for you) These laws applied to nation primarily – individual focus later.

JOSHUA – God's promise upon entry into Promised Land.
Rahab (chapter 2 and end of 6) – one of four women in the geneology of Jesus, Rahab was a prostitute.
Joshua's leadership in establishing a stronghold in the new land.

JUDGES - wonderful stories of early leaders of the Hebrews
Continuing struggle to take control of the land.
Deuteronomic history played out
Judges/Deliverers: Ehud (3:13-28), Ms. Jael kills Sisera(4), Deborah! (5) Gideon (6:13f),

Samson (14) – all great and very vivid stories.

RUTH – purpose to show intermarriage can be successful religiously
1:15 "Wherever you go, I will go. . . ."
3:5f. marriage and property tied together, reflected in a father giving his daughter away.
Ruth & Boaz sire Obed, the father of Jesse, father of David (geneology) Illustrates a foreigner as part of the geneology of Jesus

I SAMUEL – this and II Samuel are some of the best history ever written – inside information, great use of sources and documents, compelling narratives.
Song of Hannah, ch. 2 – from which we get the Magnificat
Capture of the Ark 4
Request for a King (big deal) 8:4f. "we want to be like all the other nations"
The origin of The Holy Spirit – takes possession, ecstatic 10:5
12-14 – the core of Deuteronomic history.
16 – The Calling of David – a mirror image of the Cinderella Story!
17 - David and Goliath
18 Saul and David in conflict
20ff The Friendship of David and Jonathan (2Sam1:25-27) – many hold this to be a homosexual relationship.

II SAMUEL
7:16 God's promise to David and Descendants
11 David and Bathsheba and Uriah
12ff. Nathan's Fable – rebuke to David.
Stories of Absolom and others

I KINGS – again, much great history
Solomon made King ch 1ff and his wisdom and judgment
Chapter 5ff preparation for the building of the Temple
Chapter 9ff. Solomon's apostasy
Stories of intrigue
Chapter 15 – war between Israel and Judah.
Chapter 17ff. The arrival of Elijah the Prophet
Chapter 19:11f – major shift in understanding of God – not in nature, but interior voice.
Stories of Ahab

II KINGS
1-2Elijah taken into heaven, mantle passed to Elisha
Stories about Elisha – miracles
Stories of immensely evil kings, interrupted by Hezekiah, then Manassah the worst.
22 – Reform under King Josiah!
23 Judah now has constitutional rule – accretions gone.
24-5 Destruction of the Temple – Exile

I & II CHRONICLES
History retold by P or Priestly tradition

EZRA in the year of Cyrus, king of Persia – Return of the Exiles
Ezra & Nehemiah deal with evil doers differently- Ezra tears his hair out/Nehemiah tears their hair out.
Rebuilding of the Temple begun – rebuilt 520-516 Legalism begins – with Torah being taught 7:16ff.

Mixed Marriages abandoned.

NEHEMIAH (holds position similar to a senior warden)
The rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem, list of those who returned. Here and through Chronicles great attention given to recording people's names.
Ezra the Priest's Reading of the Law to the people (8:1ff)
The Samaritan schism begins 13:28

ESTHER – the story establishing/justifying the feast of Purim
Haman wants to destroy Jews, Esther intercedes, Mordecai is a hero.

Very popular story!

WRITINGS

JOB – rejection of Deuteronomic theory of history (represented by Job's "friends")
Job is a righteous man – Satan promises to make him curse God.

Job's friends:
Eliphaz: Only God is pure: the rest of his creations, including the angels, are not – which means that humans must accept some punishment for their inescapable impurity. Job must have sinned, not because he was evil, but because he was human.
Bildad: The sins of the sons are reason for father's punishment.
Zophar: Job's punishment is the result of Job's own secret and substantial guilt which he must be hiding, even from himself.

Problem in Job: God does not answer Job's legitimate questions about suffering of the innocent, though it is widely believed that he does.
Ending of Job may have been tacked on.

PSALMS – separate entry in this blog.

PROVERBS: Wisdom honored – beginning of the notion of Holy Spirit as part of Godhead.
8:22 and 8:22-31 is crucial passage in early understanding of Trinity!
Sayings: 1:2 gold ring; Every Member Canvass 11:24-26; Thanksgiv'g 15:16-17;

a worthy woman, 31ff.
Other parts of Proverbs noted earlier in blog – comic structure of the Bible.

ECCLESIASTES – tries to find meaning and is defeated (despite tacked on holy ending)
Great Passages: 1:1-11; 3:1-8 Byrds; 4:9f marriage; 9:11f. nothing new under the sun;

positive 9:7-10

Ecclesiastes may have been an atheistic tract, transformed into a Jewish text.

SONG OF SOLOMON – used to be favorite part of the Bible for horny teenage boys.
The book asserts that the love of God and erotic love are not different in kind.
2:8-13 lovely poem; 4:1f. each part of the beloved praised; 4:9ff erotic love

PROPHETS

AMOS – earliest and most biting
2:6-8; 3:1-2; 4:1-3; Plumbline (7:7-9); verses quoted by MLK – 5:21-24

HOSEA – some hope
Marries Gomer, the prostitute (3 ff) Hosea's faithfulness to his whore/wife is compared to God's faithfulness to a whorish nation.
"For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings."

JOEL – post exilic (after Jews have been freed from exile in Babylon)
Quality of Repentance 2:12-13; for final battle 3:9-1-

OBADIAH –focus on judgment of Edom

NAHUM –

The book is written as an acrostic in Hebrew;

the overthrow of Ninevah (Babylon) (see Psalm 137)
foresees auto (2:3-5) not really, but the images are there.

HABAKKUK – like Job, opposes Deuteronomic history
Individual faith: 2:4
Environmentalist: rejects violence to trees & animals 2:17.
Many liturgical passages are found here.
Wrestles with the problem of evil.

ZEPHANIAH
Woe to Jerusalem and the Nations
The Restoration of Israel 3:14-20

HAGGAI
Argues for rebuilding of the Temple (building fund 1:4)
Economic Depression explained (1:10-11)
A Temple for all – 2:7f.

ZECHARIAH
Theme – the universal reign of God.
New sense of repentance –totally by grace of God (3:1-5)
Pacifism: 7:8-10
Old men and old women . . .glories yet to come (8:4-5)

MALACHI Priestly prophet
Inclusion of Gentiles (1:11), 2:10.

ISAIAH – three different books
Themes: against foreign alliances (31:1ff. for example),
Vision: 6:1ff. the holiness of God
Isaiah walks naked as protest – one of the great clown/fool moments in Scripture.
Vision of the Messianic Banquet at the end of history (Chapter 25).
II Chapter 40 "Comfort, comfort . . .straight (return from Babylon)
Transcendance – creation ex nihilo (40:12ff)
The Servant Passages (especially 50:4-11, 53:1-12) – key to Good Friday liturgies and Passion
God chooses Cyrus – first mention of the Annointed or Christ(45:1f.0)
The Nation as a Light to the Nations 49:6b
III Post-Exilic

JEREMIAH
Jeremiah's call to be a prophet
Transformation of the Outward to the Inward in Ethics (chapters 31 and 33)

EZEKIEL
The responsibility of the Shepherd/Watchman
Freeing ethics for individual responsibility (rejects the belief that a father's sin infects children)
Ezekiel's Vision of the Wheel
Hope – Valley of the Dry Bones

DANIEL – Apocalyptic (bizarre visions about the end of the world and salvation for the saints - this is reflected in the 13th Chapter of Mark, called "the Little Apocalypse" and the Book of the Revelation of St. John the Divine. All three written to encourage the faithful who are being persecuted.
"The Son of Man" here and in the Psalms – the phrase here is the Son of Man coming in clouds of glory to claim his kingdom. Elsewhere, especially in Ezekiel, the phrase refers to humans in our finitude. Jesus seems to combine the two uses in order to drive others to see who he really is instead of assigning simple labels.

Stay tuned for better work on the Major Prophets.

Audition Script for “The Smedleys Are Here”

JIM and JANICE Smedley are waiting to meet the director of Swenson's Funeral Home to arrange for the funeral of a very difficult person.

LOLA (off-stage)

The Smedleys are here, waiting for you in the Garden of Memories.

 

MORT (entering to meet family)

Good afternoon and welcome to Swenson's; but first, I want to tell you how sorry I am about your loss.

 

        JANICE (distracted, while admiring the Rhododendrons)

He's sorry about our lapse? Jim, we can't be behind on our payments so soon. We just got here.

 

MORT

I'm sorry, I just wanted to express my deepest sorrow for your loss.

 

JANICE

Our loss?

 

MORT

The loss of your Beloved.

 

JIM

Not really our Beloved, more like our Tolerated.

 

MORT

Your "Tolerated."

 

JANICE (joining the others)

Actually, our Barely Tolerated.

 

MORT

Your "Barely Tolerated."

 

JIM

No, probably worse than barely tolerated -- more like a complete pain in the ass.

 

MORT

You have come to the right place.

 

JANICE

Really?

 

MORT

Yes, this is a family owned and operated Funeral Home that is dedicated to serving the survivors of . . very difficult relatives.

 

JANICE

I'm not sure I understand.

 

        MORT

My father, who founded Swenson's was a very spiritual man, a visionary. He realized that when a relative passes away, those who grieve … have more than sufficient resources for dealing with their loss – flowery cards, sympathetic neighbors, the pandering of friends … All that is well and good, but where does that leave the rest of us – and Barely Tolerated? Grief is assuaged in months – anger and resentment can go on forever.

 

        JANICE

I never looked at it that way.

 

        MORT

And that is precisely where Swenson's comes in. . we ensure that the torment and abuse you have experienced over the years is repaid. .repaid on a daily, weekly or monthly basis, relieving you of that responsibility.

 

JANICE

So you are Mr. Swenson?

 

MORT

Actually, no. Swenson's is a Swedish name. My family came from an Eastern European Country.

 

JIM

So your name is?

 

MORT

My name is Rasputin.

 

Jim

Rasputin?

 

MORT

Yes, of the Akron, Ohio Rasputins.

Bathhouse Blues

    After reading an article which lamented the Anglican Communion's Standing Committee's refusal to chastise, punish and exile the Episcopal Church for its treatment of gay and lesbian people as full members of the Body of Christ and worthy of the full dignity of being human. How, the author of the article asked, could they have failed to exile the Episcopal Church?

    I then noted, "Apparently the Standing Committee and others are not ready to elevate Paul's condemnation of ritual prostitution between males to the level of belief in the Incarnation and Resurrection of Jesus, the Christ." An unnamed respondent reproduced my observation and added "That Paul. Just no fun at AT ALL down at the bath-house."

What a gift! Now I think I understand better than I had before. The respondent illustrated a good bit of the problem with Dissident Theology. Bathhouse Sexuality is precisely what Paul does attack in Romans. Of course. However, progressives and moderates are not advocating Bathhouse Sexuality - we are talking about faithful, committed, intended to be life-long relationships between homosexual persons - relationships that are marked by the presence of the Holy Spirit as spelled out by Paul in Galatians 5. 

Perhaps the Standing Committee finally got it right – this is not about Bathhouse Sexuality, despite the confusion perpetrated by those who cannot conceive of homosexual relationships being anything but Bathhouse. Well, one can always hope.

Using the logic of the Dissidents (all gay and lesbian relationships are nothing more than the distorted relationships of the bathhouse), we should probably do away with marriage because there are men who abuse their wives.

The Parable of the Prodigal Son – A Parable of our Anglican Struggles

This parable of the family of a father and two sons is remarkable in many ways. One of the most remarkable is the way it reflects the ongoing emotional and spiritual struggles within each one of us – and, as we shall see, the current struggles within the Anglican Communion as well as other denominations.

The Freudian take on human personality is that it is an expression of the struggle amongst three elements of the human psyche – the id, the super-ego and the ego:

- The id represents biological forces or the life-force and is governed by the pleasure principle or a form of hedonism. It is marked by instinctual urges of sexuality, aggression and the desire for instant gratification or release. In the parable, this is the Younger Son, breaking free from the constraints of the family, wasting the early inheritance from his father on pleasures of the moment, living an unfettered life with (by his brother's description) whores and then, in a surge of self-destruction, ending up sharing life with the religiously forbidden pigs of their Gentile owner. Freud's notion of the id caught up in the Oedipus complex is not far from the Younger Son's challenge to his father to "drop dead." The Younger Son could easily serve as the proto-type of the id.

- The superego, from the German "Uber-ich" ("over me") serves to inhibit the biological instincts of the id and to enforce moral standards. This is the Older Son in the parable -- dutiful to his father, but resentful of his younger brother who dishonored his father and has violated the most basic moral codes of the family's religion. When he learns that his younger brother is being honored in a loud celebration rather than summarily punished, the Older Son experiences an enormous crisis, as the very basis of his being has been to oppose and restrain the immorality of his brother. It is bad enough that he has failed in his mission – it is far worse to watch as his father seems to be celebrating his failure.

- In Freud's world, the ego is our link to reality (as different from the drives and the standards of the id and superego) and is the moderating force between the two opposing forces of the id and the superego. The work of the ego/Father is to hold the personality/Family together. Thus, while the id may be crying out for gratification as the superego counters with moral precepts and the accumulated wisdom of a developing conscience, the ego/Father works to resolve the conflict, balancing and moderating both id and superego. In the parable, the Father is attempting to fulfill this function by embracing the unrepentant Younger Son in a welcome home party while also embracing the rejecting Older Son as he resists joining the party.

As the party is in full swing, the two sons remain independent forces – and all bets are off on what will happen at the breakfast table the next morning! But that is the nature of the human personality: as Doug Adams was fond of saying, nearly every good parable and most miracles in the Bible end in chaos.

Both the Parable of the Prodigal Son and the Parable of the Sower have enormous possibilities in addressing our lives at a multitude of levels, but particularly the psychological struggles that happen deep within us. This is true in a more limited sense in the Parable of the Leaven, with the woman creating the bread from the wild energy of the leaven (denoting "corruption in the rest of the New Testament) and the passive purity of the flour. All three parables have within themselves powerful possibilities for framing, understanding and then transforming the struggles faced by our church communities and each of us as individuals within them.

What we are experiencing in the Anglican Communion is just this struggle, with the Progressives committed to their desire to do what is necessary to achieve a fully inclusive community -- even if that involves overturning long established order and tradition.

Within the Christian church this same struggle has appeared and reappeared in countless forms through the centuries most recently as we have come to terms with the evils of slavery and the exclusion of women. One of touchstones of the Anglican Communion has been our commitment to being governed by the role of the ego or adult dealing with the forces of id and superego in ordering the life of our family.

What we are lacking now is a common commitment to living within the struggles of the human and religious community. From my perspective, what we are experiencing now is a Father demanding to act, not as a force within the personality of the whole, but as "The Decider" who has, by ruling for one Son against the other, abdicated his role as the ego. The recent letters from the Archbishop of Canterbury and Canon Kearon declaring agains the Episcopal Church are clear examples of the abdication of the Parent in our family – and no good thing can come from that.

Like a healthy human personality, our Episcopal Church, the Anglican Communion and world-wide Christianity are best when, in the language of the Parable, the Father, the Younger Son and Older Son are in a dynamic relationship. With decrees, scurrilous attacks and shunning the energy of the Younger Son, we are not saving anything – only our own destruction.

Jesus, Israel and Arizona

In all the discussions of the Arizona law regarding illegal immigration there has been little, if any, discussion about the religious significance of it all. As a result, what we have been left with, largely, is a hodge-podge of liberal and conservative catch phrases. So what can Christians and Jews have to contribute?

First, there is a constant reminder throughout the Hebrew Scriptures that we are a refugee people -- not just immigrants from Egypt, but political and economic refugees. To forget that is to forget God, says the Psalmist..

Second, for Christians the earliest reality for the Holy Family was as refugees in their flight to Egypt. We should probably be grateful no one there asked to see their papers.

Third, the one constant in Jesus' own experience as the light shining in the darkness was as refugee, as unwelcome immigrant: "foxes have holes and birds have their nests, but the Son of man has no place to lay his head."

The issues involved in illegal immigration are complex -- even on purely economic grounds. If we take our own religious history and identity at all seriously, they become even more difficult -- as we live under the words of the Incarnate One, "Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these, you have done it unto me."

Egypt and Arizona, Mexico and Caanan, and on and on it goes.

Lastly, the truth is not served by asserting that any significant numbers of illegal immigrants are criminal element types -- or that there are no criminals involved. In my experience, the largest numbers have risked their lives in coming here from desperation. Paul Levine, normally a comedy writer, has captured that reality in his new novel, "Illegal." It speaks of the reality of the nitty-gritty details of people's lives

Ultimate Ironies, beginning with Kierkegaard

In his diary, Soren Kierkegaard wrote one of the most ironic lines in all of Christian theology: "In the splendid Palace Church a stately court chaplain, the declared favorite of the cultivated public, shows himself to a select circle of distinguished, cultivated persons and preaches a moving sermon on this word by the Apostle: 'God chose the lowly and despised.' And nobody laughs."

Remembering Kierkegaard's lines, I began thinking of other phases from Scripture equally ironic to the context of the Vatican's failure to address that church's failure to take any appropriate action against those priests who have raped our children and the bishops and archbishops who have abetted that. Here is my list so far:

Ascending to the pulpit before the great crowds in St. Peter's Basilica on a Sunday morning in his gold embroidered cope and mitre and his elegantly red Prada slippers, Pope Benedict removed his mitre, looked lovingly over the assembled faithful and began his sermon on the text from Mark 10:14, "Suffer the little children to come unto me. . ." and no one vomited, no one rushed the pulpit.

As he was reading from the day's appointed Scripture to the solemn gathering of the wizened old men who comprised the College of Cardinals, Pope Benedict passed quickly over verse 42 of the ninth chapter of Mark's Gospel, "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung round his neck and he were thrown into the sea." The sound of old men either winking or shifting about in their velvet covered sedallias was deafening.

Questions:

Over and over again, Jesus sets a child in front of the religious authorities of his day and tells them that this child represents the Kingdom. So when one of the church's priests desecrates the child, what are we to say about his regard for the Kingdom of God? Is the word "anti-Christ" appropriate? If so, what are the words or phrases for an organization which protects the anti-Christ?

When We Can No Longer Cope - A Forum at St. Bede's

A short quiz: In the Bible, what is the event which immediately precedes the Feeding of the Five Thousand? The answer is "The beheading of the one man closest to Jesus, John the Baptist." Jesus, full of grief as well as of fear (because surely he would be next), does not retreat from life but enters into it fully and with compassion and care for those around him. He is affirming life in the midst of death -- that is the overriding aspect of his life and that forms the underpinnings of what I have to say.

This morning, I want to talk about some of the boundary situations we all face sooner or later -- hopelessness, severe depression, feeling unforgiven or being unable to forgive. Mostly I want to talk about the spiritual resources we have in dealing with those situations, ourselves, or in helping others as they attempt to deal with them.

What about the tough stuff? How do we deal with that? Most of the time, most of us do fairly well with life as it comes to us. We have plenty of reserves and when we are disappointed or hurt "Hey! That happens. . .life goes on." Thank God that is how life is for most of us. . most of the time. But there are the other times – either when something big overwhelms us or when the dailyness of life has somehow gotten to be too much. .and our reserves are gone.

We know what happens when our reserves are gone. Usually something small – it may be anger or loss or disappointment -- something seemingly small can touch us and we suddenly feel ourselves left defenseless before life. All of a sudden we feel we're close to going over the edge.

We usually begin by trying to handle that by ourselves, sometimes by toughing it out – which is usually only to postpone and to exacerbate. We reach down inside ourselves. .and find that we are empty. We reach for strength, but all we find is ancient pain.

So what are the resources of our faith? The first thing to do, it seems to me, is to acknowledge the truth: we human beings do not come equipped with a built-in reserve. The last thing any of us need feel guilty about is running out of reserves or feeling empty. It happens: that is how we are made. I used to run marathons. You know the phrase, "hitting the wall?" In a marathon, that is what usually happens at mile 20 of 26. What it means is that your body has run out of stored energy and if you body is going to use any more energy, it is going to get it. . . by eating muscle cells. When we hit the wall emotionally, spiritually. . .we have hit the wall, period. There is no place to go, inside. .no muscle cells to eat. So what is there?

There is first, simply entrusting ourselves – entrusting ourselves to the care of God, to the care of a spouse or friend. I hope we all know that it is more than ok to draw on someone else's strength when ours has given out. That's part of being a church family. If you are too far gone even to pray: ask someone to pray for you. . .or with you (and praying with someone can mean simply sitting with him in silence). And when you do entrust yourself to another or to others, take the time to feel the power of that depending on someone's prayers or support. That is important.

One of the spiritual meanings of sickness is that it is often the first time in our lives when we are able to come to terms with our dependence on God – our emotional, spiritual and physical dependence on God. This may be the occasion for our being able to understand and accept

and live. . within our dependence upon God. I think the reason so many of us are so frightened of death is that we have so little experience or practice of entrusting ourselves to anyone. . much less God.

So, first, we are incomplete –that is basic to who we are - not a matter for shame or guilt. We need others and we need God -- just as the Ringling Bros. were incomplete without Barnum and Bailey, hot dogs incomplete without mustard. That's the way it is. The only people God finds almost impossible to work with are those who see themselves as perfect.

When you entrust yourself to the care of a spouse or friend, be specific: when you ask, ask for specifics. In Salinas, one woman I had been seeing weekly, asked to see me in my collar every day – somehow that reminded her of the presence of her Lord, though with her pain, that was the only way she could experience that presence. That was something I could give her – or the congregation could give her through me.

A second matter: When we are in a crisis, that is not the time to question our beliefs: it is the time to trust them. There are so many things in life which assault us,which knock us for a loop. When the big ones hit us, they almost always do so in a way that brings our basic values/beliefs into question. "How could God have done this? "If this is what God is like, to Hell with God."

But even as the questions come, this is not the time to rethink, re-evaluate our beliefs. That is so for the very same reason I was told years ago that the time to make decisions about sex is not in the backseat of a car.

Even so, in the middle of crisis, if you are angry with God, BE angry with God. If you are disappointed with God, BE disappointed with God. But at the same time, reach through the disappointment and anger to trusting that God will be there to support you, to heal you. Try to trust that God will be present to bring some good out of the chaos, the fear, threat or loss you are experiencing.

Most of the time, in our relationship with God, it is like we are on a first date. We are nice. We are on our best behavior. However, when at the end of our rope, when we are really angry with God, that may be the occasion to move past a dating relationship and into a real relationship with God.

Third, it is important, sometimes, just to endure. . to live it through. The Bible often links Hope and Endurance, holding on -- and the heart of holding on is knowing, trusting, hoping that our present pain/loss will someday be a part but not the whole. .of our lives. Our lives are colored, changed drastically by deaths, divorce, disfigurements, long-term illness. .but that will not be the ONLY reality in our lives. In a word, it is important not to let the H.O.L.E. hole in my heart be the W.H.O.L.E. whole of my life. I know that has been true in my life – as time after time I have dealt with losses and death in my own life. There are holes, deep holes in my heart, as I know there are deep, deep holes in each of yours. And I honor that pain and sorrow and regret; but they do not constitute the whole of my life. .which continues to be rich in meaning, and joy and possibility. So part of the task is, simply, to hold on, to endure to that time when that hole in your heart is no longer the whole of your life.

Fourth: It is so hard when we are stressed out, depressed to allow our perspective to shift. That is especially so with the difference between healing and cure. So often when we pray for the sick, we pray that they will be cured. And often while looking for the cure, we miss the healing that happens. We miss the healing when it comes.

I remember when my father was very sick, how we all prayed that he would be cured. And in the looking for the cure, we all but missed the many ways that healing was occurring, not only in his own life and outlook, but in the family as well. And so it is with any significant loss: when we so focus on the restoration of things as they were before, we miss the possibilities of healing and the gift of new direction in our lives. Something has changed – and things will never be the same as they were back then. But with repentance and forgiveness and dealing with the changed circumstances, wholeness is possible.

The Chinese language has a profound way of understanding crisis. The Chinese character for crisis is made up of two separate characters, one superimposed on the other. One of the characters stands for danger. . .the other for opportunity. A crisis is the conjunction of danger and opportunity. With any significant loss, there is danger. . danger that we will lose ourselves in unending grief, danger that we will pull away from life, isolating ourselves from life, shutting the world out.

And there is also opportunity. .opportunity for finding new and expanded personal support, opportunity for healing, for deepening our response to life. Looking at things this way doesn't mean that our loss didn't happen – or that our hearts will ever completely heal . .but it is a path, a way towards wholeness.

I want to say a few things more about the crisis of losing something, someone important. Once we are well along in our grieving, it is important to throw our energies into living with the changed circumstances. That's a mouthful, so let me say it again: it is throwing our energies into living with the changed circumstances. It is not "Why did this happen?" or "How did this happen? I'll never be the same. ." but "How can I order my life in view of the changed circumstances? Our wholeness is not dependent upon following the original script. Our wholeness is not dependent upon any given scenario.

As an example, there are marriages which never recover from instances of infidelity or adultery. The hurt and the sense of betrayal is just too much to bear. The marriage simply can't bear that weight. But there are some couples – probably more than we know – who have been able to survive such a terrible, terrible loss . . as a way of confronting life and one another on a deeper level than either had thought possible.

One last thing – it is something called "Reframing." When we are deep into grief or fear or depression we are usually stuck with one perspective, one way of looking at our lives and our possibilities. At such times it is sometimes to open up whole new vistas by reframing our situation.

The first time I understood this phenomenon was when a nurse at the VA Hospital in Madison, Wisconsin told me about an encounter one of her patients had with a member of the clown troupe of seriously disabled people I had formed. As the patient told the story to her, he was lying in bed hoping to die. Both his legs had been amputated and he did not want to leave the hospital: he wanted to die. But then a strange sight was wheeled into his room. "It was a guy with cerebral palsy with clown make-up smeared on his face and a little cowboy hat on his head. The guy was flailing his arms around and making strange noises while looking at me. That went on for three or four minutes and then his helper wheeled him out of the room and into the corridor. At that point I broke down in tears. I said to myself, 'This guy had nothing going for him – nothing at all. But he was giving me everything he had. Everything.' And from that moment I could not wait to get out of that hospital to see what I could do with what I have."

Years later, my colleague in a neighboring parish came to me in great distress. He, a married priest, had been having a sexual relationship with someone in the parish. He had been canned from his job as rector and he had been forced to leave his home and family and get an apartment. "This," he said, "is the worst thing that could happen to me." On a whim I asked him to tell me why this could be the best thing in the world that could have happened to him. After a moment's thought he said that was easy: he really was not happy in his job, but didn't think there was a way out; his marriage had been a disaster for both of them, but now there was, at least, the possibility of confronting one another and working for a deeper and more satisfying relationship than either had thought possible. . and on and on.

Nothing had changed for either of them, but he had been able to reframe the circumstances – and thus could begin to hope. And that is so key for us at those times when we are depressed or overcome with loss or grief. It is holding on, remembering who we were before the crisis and remembering the strength and the goodness of our faith before our pins were knocked out from under us. It is remembering that the hole in our hearts is not the whole of our lives – and that with the support of others we will not only survive, we will live differently, but fully.

There is one verse in the 23^rd Psalm which frames all this in a powerful way – and for me it is one of the two verses of the Bible that I trust completely. The first is "And the light shines in the darkness and the darkness will never overcome it." The second, from the 23^rd Psalm, is this: "Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil. . ." Notice the difference an "r" makes. It is "though," not if or perhaps or if things don't work out – it is "though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. ." And it is "through." And we all go through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. That is life and it is inescapable and it is not something that we have to do alone. We are surrounded by love of friends and love of God – and nothing can stop the influence and goodness of that love and support.

Second Forum Talk

I had hoped to have this talk on this site last week, but have had to work overtime with the Census. Give me a couple of days - maybe just tonight.

Thanks,

Tom