Audtion Script for "The Richest Man in Santa Fe"

This is the audition script from "The Richest Man in Santa Fe," a play I've written that will be produced in "Benchwarmers VII" at the Santa Fe Playhouse in Santa Fe on February 23 at 8 pm and February 24 at 2 pm. This play and "So, What's with Eliot?" are one act plays running about 15 minutes each.

THE RICHEST MAN IN SANTA FE

Cast of Characters
HARRY: a street person/bum, but not too shabbily dressed. He may or may not be God. He has refused to say “Thank you” to Stan who first put a dollar in his basket, then a twenty.
STAN: a man in his mid-thirties to mid-forties. Stan is headed for a mid-life crisis. Harry has cajoled twenty one dollars from him and refused to say “Thank you.” The reading begins with Stan waiting for Harry to thank him.

SETTING: HARRY sits on the bench with a blanket and a basket with paper money in it.

THE AUDITION READING:

STAN
I’m waiting.

HARRY
I see that.

STAN
So where’s the “thank you?”

HARRY looks all around for a “thank you,” as if it’s an object.

HARRY
I guess it’s not here.

STAN
Where’s the “thank you?!”

HARRY
You want a “thank you?” . . . How much cash have you got on you?

STAN
How much cash have I got on me? Who in hell do you think you are?

HARRY
I’m not sure you’re ready for that.

STAN
Ready for what?

HARRY
For me to tell you who the hell I am?

STAN
Try me.

HARRY
O.K. God.

STAN
God, what?

HARRY
God. . . .That’s all. . .I’m God.

STAN
I guess I forgot in the middle of all this that I am in Santa Fe.

HARRY
It doesn’t matter: Santa Fe, Nazareth, Bethlehem, Espanola. It’s the same everywhere.

STAN
Yeah, sure. Look, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you look nothing like George Burns.